Boy Selecta!

One of my friends in America is pregnant for the fourth time. She has just been for her 20-week scan and was looking forward to knowing the sex of her next baby. However the hospital refused to tell her, saying they no longer did so as people could sue if they were wrong. My initial thought was “Stupid Americans! Why don't they just get the parents to sign a waiver? Surely waiving isn't too much exercise for them!”

Hospitals in Luton (amongst others in the UK) have also undertaken a non-disclosure policy but their reasoning is slightly more clandestine. In a heavily Asian area, the sex of the child is the cause of many terminations. Asian families are keener to have male progeny and an ultrasound showing no winkie would often lead to an abortion. Birthing pools are becoming increasingly popular for Asian families. It leads to a more relaxed delivery for the mother and is convenient if a girl pops out.

So-called 'gendercide' (when parents abort according to the sex of the child) is on the increase with a rapidly growing population of Asians in the UK. To many it seems the lack of a Y chromosome is viewed as a genetic defect. There's the old joke about the Indian guy going to the hospital for the scan with his wife saying “I can't wait to find out what we are having - a boy or an abortion!”

Gendercide is relatively uncommon with Caucasian British parents but a massive problem amongst the Chinese and Indian cultures, as well as others like Pakistan, Afghanistan, Bangladesh, South Korea. It is estimated that an astonishing 100 million girls have gone missing from Asian countries in recent times. That's over half the population of Pakistan and there's a lot of those fuckers!

As many as 12 million female girls from the expected population disappeared in India in the noughties. Naughty naughty indeed. Up to 20% of female foetuses over there are aborted, but shockingly many are dumped or drowned.

The Herodian cull of the innocents in the womb is a 'relatively' new revival of an old plague. It is only since the advent of ultrasound that people have been able to banish the disappointment of nature in the womb. Ultrasounds and subsequent abortions for sex selection have been banned since the mid 90s in India and China but are rarely enforced so are about as useful as a cloakroom attendant in Newcastle.

Infanticide, disposing of the evidence after birth, was a tolerated crime in these countries in the past and is still prevalent now although modern technology has lessened the need for this heinous deed.

In the highly patriarchal India, the cost of a wedding and dowry is about £25000. Typically, incompetent call centre workers with fake English names earn about 10% of that. It is effectively like taking on a mortgage for each girl. No wonder so many are prepossessed.

Chinese families have an incentive to have a son as their one-child policy would mean their family name dying out if they have a girl. Not entirely sure if that applies to pandas though - that would certainly be a boo-boo.

By 2020 there will be a surplus of 60 million Indian and Chinese males, outnumbering women by 20%. Contextually that's the entire population of the UK pottering around looking for someone to make them a cup of tea. 2020 sounds far from perfect.

The Chinese city of Lianyungang has the highest birth ratio in the world with 163 boys to 100 girls. Imagine how hard it is to pull there!

With so few females on the shelf, women are obviously in high demand and there aren't enough to go around as Indian and Chinese girls aren't as slaggy as English girls. Mail-order brides have to be shipped in from other countries to negate the shortfall. No wonder so many Indian men come over here to “steal our women”. Dating websites are finding themselves homes to many desperate Indian men scouring for a chance of happiness. Not too long ago, a well-known dating website claimed they had too many women. I bet they don't in India or China.

You may think that the absence of a few women would liven the dating game up and force the guys to raise their game. It actually creates a detrimental effect with a surplus of unmarried, violent young men. In China these men are called “bare branches”, an ever-increasing dangerous subculture blamed for many problems. These offshoots have no one to shoot off in and seem more interested in shooting others instead.

Sex selection is proving to be a contraceptive against overpopulation. If left to nature, it wouldn't be that unusual for a family to have 3 or 4 costly girls before popping out a boy. If gendercide wasn't possible there could be hundreds of millions of extra people on this planet already, with more to come from their offspring – in fact we would be looking at an additional world population of 2-3%.

It does make you think to the future. Imagine what will happen when science makes it possible to decide on the sex of your child? Women could become a rare breed indeed. Alternatively, think how interesting the world would be if the reverse was true and there were 150 women to 100 men? And imagine the outrage from liberal groups if science makes it possible to predict a homosexual from their genes rather than growing up being influenced by Glee.

Well, I'd like to keep the women and I'd like to keep the gays. But which is better? There's only one way to find out – bitch fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggghhtttttt! Go on, the girls!